…In his list Dr. Ed Wheat’s fifth element of love is called
Agape`. This is probably a familiar Christian statement of
how God loves us. He loves us because He loves us! It has
nothing to do with our face, how tall or short we are, what
our weight is, or anything else. He loves us because He loves
us. Our intellect or absence of intellect has nothing to do
with His love for us. Money, fame, popularity has nothing
to do with His love. He just loves us because He loves us!
Notice if you will, that Agape’ love differs from the other
five elements listed. The first four in the list are all reciprocal.
“If you do thus and so, I’ll do thus and so.” “Be my best
friend, and I’ll be your best friend.” “Make it comfortable
for me, and I’ll do the same for you.” “I’m going to romance
you because I want the same in return.” “I’m hot for your
body, and I want you to be hot for mine.” All of the above
are pretty much based on an expected return.
Agape actually says, “I love you because I choose to love
you.” “In fact, you cannot make me not love you.” Listen,
that last statement sounds like poor English usage, but the
theology of it is very strong when you understand how God
loves us. He chooses to love us, without condition!
A marriage that has a strong commitment clause is far
more likely to stand the test of time. Haven’t you seen couples
that cling to each other get even stronger as they get older?
Surprisingly, there have been some film and stage actors and
actresses that seem to be inseparable. The late Ozzie Davis and
his widow Ruby Dee, and the late husband and widowed wife team
of Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy come to mind. The flower of
their youth had obviously faded from Ozzie and Ruby but their
devotion and commitment to each other painted an even greater
picture of love increasing. This is so rewarding to this observer in
contrast to the expected ‘Hollywood types’, that seem not to have
marriages as much as they have collections.
It is sad to see the Elizabeth Taylors of this world who
have confused and abused the marriage bed so much that
they end up with nothing in the golden years of their lives.
In contrast to the emptiness and sadness viewed by those
who can only boast of their collections, we could see the fire
and passion whenever the Davis’ were interviewed. I’m pretty
sure that it was the same for the Cronyn/Tandy couple. Their love
really showed! There was a pretty obvious agape connection
working. We can also see it in the fiery eyes of former First
Lady Nancy Reagan when she spoke of her late “Ronnie,”
who suffered with Alzheimer’s.
There’s a story out there about former president Reagan out for
Walk, accompanied by the Secret Service. He was clearly ailing
from his illness when suddenly he turned and reached for the latch
of an unfamiliar gate. Letting himself in he began to pick a flower.
“Mr. President,” the startled agent exclaimed, “This is not
our home.” “Oh I know,” said Mr. Reagan, “I just wanted
to take my love a flower.” Even though he was judged to be
mostly locked in a private world, for just one precious
moment he had returned to the love of his life. The embers
of their love still burned brightly in both of their hearts!
Love is certainly a choice. It has little to do with one’s
physical appearance, academic ability, age or station in life.
Once that choice is made it should be made for life. It should
not be made with “If” clauses. “I will love you if you keep
your beauty.” “I will love you as long as I can admire your
mind.” “I will love you as long as you are on top of the heap.”
It is pitiful that so many couples marry today with only a
partial commitment to stay married. There’s a marvelous
passage of scripture that says, “love is as strong as death.” We
know that death is not reversible in this life! Perhaps, nor should
love be reversible.
